Small Business and Home Office Blog April Archive blog.topic  

The New Office Rules

By Office Bull at 04/29/08 04:40

Sometimes you have to make your own office rules that you can use for different situations. Here are some that I'm sure will be useful for you. However, keep in mind that most office workers who follow these rules have found their coworkers getting pay raises and job advancement before them!

• Always walk with several documents in your hands
Office workers with documents in their hands look like hard workers involved in important business. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the water cooler. People with a newspaper or magazine in their hand look like they're heading for the john. Above all, make sure you carry many USB memory sticks home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
• Use your computer to look busy
All the time you use a computer, it should look like you are hard at "work" to the casual observer. Instead of working, you can be sending and receiving personal e-mail, instant messaging and even downloading viruses and spyware without anyone noticing. This might not have been the idea when your boss upgraded your computer to the latest and greatest.. but except for the spyware and viruses not all bad. Cross the line of more than about 5 minutes a day and you'll be caught by your boss sooner than later. Then you'll have to think fast so be prepared with a slick excuse like your saving the company from sending you away to computer boot camp.
• Messy desk... creative mind
Top management may demand a clean desk.. and hire special employees to keep their desks clean and organized. For the common office worker a clean desk makes it look like we have no work to do. To avoid extra assignements, make sure your desk always has huge stacks of documents and other disorganized papers. This will enable you to use the work you didn't finish last year as an excuse for doing even less work this year! If someone needs a file you have on your desk, make sure to hide it in the middle of the mess and comment about how a messy desk has been proven to be related to a creative mind as you go scrounging for the document.
• MOST IMPORTANT:
Use your coworkers email accounts to forward this to their boss

If the time you spend at the office for or against your employer?